Settling Down Happens to Other People
by Owl and Crow
Summary: Lily thought her... agreement with Lorcan was perfect, not in his opinion! To get what she wants from him Lily will have to do the one thing she's always avoided. Be his girlfriend! Lily/Lorcan Lemonslemonslemonslemons!
1. The First

A/N: LEMONS! TWO OR THREE PER CHAPTER! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! THIS IS A VERY DIRTY FIC! I do hope you enjoy it though!

Disclaimer: Not mine, J.K. Rowling's.

**Settling Down Happens to Other People**

**Chapter One**

The First

If Lily Luna Potter had it her way the whole world would be made up of cute boys with cute bums and no outdated ideas about monogamy. This is not to say that she wasn't happy for Rose and Scorpius. Truth be told she liked them both and really liked them together. They were perfect for each other and even a commitiphobe (cough Lily cough) could recognize that. She just thanked Merlin that the bloke currently snogging her senseless knew better than to expect fidelity from her. (Or so she assumed).

It was one of Lorcan Scamander's better qualities. Along with a fine body and masterful kissing abilities, Lorcan didn't for a second think that Lily Luna Potter wouldn't kiss another bloke if she was given half a chance. But if she so much as twitched a finger in his direction he was more than willing to climb into a broom closet with her or, as in this case, lead her off his grandfather's house and snog her senseless on his mum's old bed.

It started the way it always did for them. Lily had an itch and Lorcan knew just where to scratch. Perhaps because they'd known each other so long and some sort of friend-snog sensor had developed between them. He always knew when she needed a kiss. Whether it was because she was feeling a little kiss hungry or because she needed the comfort only his embrace offered. Whatever it was when she needed it he was there. She just thanked Merlin they were in the same House. Lysander had ended up in Ravenclaw like his mum and Lorcan was in Gryffindor with her.

Anyway, Lily was surrounded by lovey-doveyness at Rose and Scorpius' wedding reception in late August watching the sickeningly happy couple dance together for the first time, neither one could keep from smiling for longer than a second. Rose had seen fit to punish Lily by making her maid of honor like it was some kind of thank you for saving the newlyweds relationship. It didn't help that she looked really cute in her dress and that the party was swarming with Scorpius' Greengrass relatives. One of his barmy cousins was trying to charm her, he refused to take a hint. Lily yawned again and still he remained.

She sent a look across the dance floor to where Lorcan stood with a female Greengrass. He looked up, knowing she was watching him. Lorcan bid farewell to the girl and came right over. How he knew she would never know.

"Got a book I wanted to show you, Potter," he said, oh so casually. Didn't want the fam to find out and ruin everything, did they?

"Brilliant, Scamander," she said, getting up. "You know how seriously I take my studies." He rolled his eyes.

She didn't bother excusing herself from the Greengrass, instead she let Lorcan lead her over the hill to the tower that Xeno Lovegood called home. He was off at the wedding and would be for several hours, so the place was quiet, private, safe and perfect. When her family was ready to go they wouldn't have to look far and when they found her they would have no idea what she'd been up to. The whole family knew she and Lorcan were just friends.

Ever the gentleman Lorcan held the door open for her; as soon as it closed behind them his arms were around her. Lily felt him pull her back against his chest, her heart fluttered knowing exactly what was coming and looking forward to it. His mouth latched onto her ear lobe, nibbled and sucked at it until she melted into his arms. Only then did he let her turn around and kiss him properly. His hands moved to her bum, lifted her up and placed her on the dining room table. This was his favorite snogging position because it let him get under her skirt.

Lily hadn't been entirely honest with Rose. When she found out how far her cousin had gone with Scorpius it made her uncomfortable to note that the only bloke she'd let touch her between her legs had never been and would (very likely) never be her boyfriend. Lorcan was the first and only bloke to give her any kind of sexual pleasure. Something about the fact that they would be friends forever made it okay to be that intimate with him. She knew that though they wouldn't ever get together properly he would always be in her life. It was comforting to know that the first bloke she ever kissed was also the first bloke to touch her between her legs.

Over time they migrated up the stairs to Luna's old bed. Lily's skirt was crumpled up around her hips, her legs wrapped around Lorcan's rump as he pressed against her. She ran her fingers through his platinum blonde hair, his lips leaving hickeys and love bit on her throat. One of his hands was running up and down her thigh while the other toyed with her breast. She was left absolutely breathless by his assault on her senses. He was the only guy she'd ever kissed who managed to do that. He knew just how to torture her, just how to tease, how to make her ache for more. It was probably why over the years she kept coming back to him.

Their first kiss hadn't been anything near this intense. It had been an innocent peck on the lips by the lake their first year. Lily had just started getting attention from boys and was concerned about her first kiss. She wanted it to be with someone she knew would be in her life for the rest of her life so she laid it on Lorcan. All of the sudden, mind you. The poor boy hadn't seen it coming and had immediately insisted on a proper kiss. Upset that her first hadn't been that fabulous, Lily agreed. They pressed their mouths together for a full thirty seconds before pulling away and wondering out loud if they'd done it right.

It had gotten better as time passed. Once they'd reached their third year Lily had had at least twenty "boyfriend" (blokes who held her hand in the hallway and kissed her chastely outside of her classrooms and sat with during meals) and had dealt with her first proper break up. As in he dropped her instead of the other way around. Lorcan had come to her rescue as he always did.

"He wanted to snog properly!" she had whaled in the dark depths of the library where he'd dragged her to talk. "I told him no and he dropped me!"

"Did you tell him you'd never snogged a bloke properly before?" Lorcan had asked.

"No, and what does that matter? If I don't want to do more than kiss a boy it's none of his business why, is it?"

"If it's a serious relationship he deserves to know these things," he had rationalized.

"Oh, shut up, Scamander," Lily snapped. "It wasn't serious."

"Then why are upset?"

"Pride."

"And?"

"Perhaps I do want to snog properly… just not with him."

He took the hint and kissed her for the first time since their first year. He held her around her waist and slipped his tongue in her mouth. They both agreed that that made it a real snog. It wasn't until their fourth year that he touched her bum. Her fifth when he touched her breasts and her sixth when he slipped his hand between her legs. Over all that time they managed to keep their… affair sounded right… to themselves. An unspoken agreement that there was no reason to let anyone know considering the fact that they weren't legitimately together anyway.

Over the summer they'd gone a little farther. Lily could honestly say that she knew what Lorcan looked like naked and he knew what she looked like naked. He was the first bloke she'd seen without his clothes on and he was certainly the first and only to see her without her clothes.

But now as they entered their seventh year and graduation loomed closer and closer Lily was beginning to think that they couldn't keep this up indefinitely. Sooner or later he would meet a girl he would want to spend the rest of his life with and Lily would have to deal with it. Before that though she'd have to make sure they reached the finale together. They'd done everything else, it was only appropriate.

But right now Lorcan was all hers. Lily smiled as she felt his hand move up her thigh towards her center. He was much more assertive than his mum. One of her favorite things about him was how he would take charge. No other boy she'd been with had had the balls to boss her around.

At the moment Lorcan was doing two things to drive her mental. One hand unsnapped the halter of her dress and pulled the top down to reveal her breasts. Lily tore his button down shirt open so their chests could press against each other. Chest to chest was the best feeling in the world. Her hard nipples rubbing up against the short, coarse hair on his chest, it drove her mad.

His other hand snuck under her knickers.

A few things happened at once. As soon as his fingers touched the bare flesh between her legs, Lily broke the kiss, gasping and arching her back. It felt so good having him so close. His fingers danced over her skin, until two digits thrust into her opening and the heel of his palm rubbed against her clit. She nearly screamed it felt so good. He kept up his assault on her senses as Lily kicked her feet against the bed and moved her hips in time with his fingers. Lorcan's mouth moved down her throat before latching onto a breast. After a few minutes of his fingers inside of her and his mouth moving from one nipple to the other Lily felt herself falling. Knowing her tells Lorcan moved from her breasts and covered her mouth with his, swallowing her satisfied scream.

After she recovered her ability to breath, Lily pushed him off her and onto his back. She unbuckled his trousers, pulled down his boxers and looked at him. His manhood wasn't overly large or thick, but impressive all the same.

(She'd seen a few… bananas and nuts as it were, in naughty Muggle magazines that she hid under her mattress. Lorcan's wasn't anything like that and she thanked Merlin for it. He was just the right size and shape in Lily's opinion and thus far her opinion was the only one that mattered.)

She could so easily imagine him inside of her. She slicked her hand by rubbing it against her moist center before gripping him. She twisted her hand as she moved up and down his length. Being sure to run her thumb over the sensitive head with each pass. He massaged her breasts, plumping them and teasing the nipples, staring right into her eyes as she brought him to completion. He exploded onto his chest with a long loud groan.

"Best. Friend. Ever!" he gasped.

"Oh, shut up," she snapped, without any heat.

Lorcan laughed and pulled his wand from his pocket. With a flick he cleaned them both. Lily got off him and began fixing her clothes. Lorcan watched her the way he had for the last few weeks, before tucking himself back into his trousers. He flicked his wand again to fix his shirt as he got out of bed and came to her side by the mirror.

"I've been thinking-"

"Not while we were in bed, I hope," he said, fixing his tie.

"Cheek will get you-" Lily began while fussing with her hair.

"Everywhere." He kissed her shoulder, reminding her silently of the hickeys and love bites that needed tending to. She pulled her wand from her pocket and vanished each blemish in turn.

"I've been thinking about the future actually," she said. Lorcan froze mid pulling on his dress robes.

"You've peeked my interest, don't leave me hanging," he said. Lily smiled slyly while pulling her high heal sandals on.

"I think we should have sex before we graduated." Never a terribly modest girl all of this was said without the slightest bit of hesitation or blush.

Both now fully dressed and presentable, Lorcan came to stand in front of Lily.

"We- as in you and me?"

"Yes."

"And sex- as in-"

"Insert rod A into slot B, as it were."

Lorcan gaped at her. "You've lost your mind."

"No, I haven't!" Lily insisted, affronted. And to think she thought he'd be flattered.

He turned towards the stairs and threw over his shoulder, "Sex isn't something that people just do, Potter."

Following him, Lily said, "Actually, Scamander, it is."

He scoffed as he led the way out the door and locked it behind them. "That is not what I meant. Normal people, who don't date seven different blokes in seven days, don't just _have_ sex."

"That was not intentional!"

He gave her a very pointed look.

"All right so maybe it was dare, but I won ten galleons off Dominique and nearly gave Albus a heart attack, so I reckon it was worth it. Besides who said anything about dating? We were only kissing."

"Yes, I know I was the one who found you with three of them," Lorcan snapped, as they walked over the hills back to the Burrow.

"No need to get tetchy. It's not as if I've done half of what I've done with you with anyone else." She grabbed his arm to stop him. "Look you've been my first… well everything. My first kiss, my first snog, my first orgasm. You ought to be my first lover."

"I- I- I ought to. Do you hear yourself? You're talking nonsense."

Lily let go of him. A foreign concept had occurred to her. Her forehead scrunched up. "Do- do you not want to have sex with me?" The very idea was ludicrous.

"Don't be ridiculous, Lily, of course I do. I'm seventeen and you're gorgeous. Half our year would kill to be in my position."

"And yet there's a problem."

"Yes there's a bloody problem."

"Well what is it?"

He sighed and continued walking. "After all these years, Potter and you still don't get it."

"Don't get what?"

They reached the edge of the party but remained in the shadows. "If you won't tell me that's fine. And if you won't have sex with me that's fine as well. I'll just find someone else-"

She hadn't finished the word before Lorcan had grabbed her by her shoulders and got in her face. "You wouldn't dare."

"I don't want to. You're the only bloke who's ever been able to handle me, Scamander. The only one who's ever been strong enough for me. You're my oldest male friend who I'm not related to and I want you to take my virginity. I don't want anyone else."

"So it's all about you, is it Potter? It doesn't matter what I want-"

"Of course it does! It's not like we'll be having sex with you just laying there passively. I want you to be an… active participant. So what do you want, Lorcan? I'll make you breakfast," she offered. He shook his head and pulled away, clearly not seeing that coming. "My parents will be at work tomorrow. Both James and Albus have moved out. We'll have the whole house to ourselves. Come over in the morning, I'll make you breakfast than we can go up to my room and-"

She caught sight of her mother over Lorcan's shoulder. Ginny Potter was heading her daughter's way, fast.

"Make up your bloody mind, will you?"

"I'm not having sex with you for a meal."

"How about two? Breakfast and lunch?"

"No." There was no fire in his voice now. It was calm. He knew what he wanted. Which was good because her mum was getting closer.

"What then?"

He licked his lips and crossed his arms. "I want you to be my girlfriend."

Lily snorted. "No, seriously what do you want?"

"What I want is for you to be my girlfriend. What do you say?"

"You've lost your mind!"

"That's what I want, Lily. It's up to you. I'll be by tomorrow, make up your mind by then."

Lily gaped at him as he walked away. Her mum approached her a moment later.

"Are you all right, dear?" she asked.

Lily blinked and looked back at her mother. "Yes. Sorry. A Greengrass was bothering me so Lorcan dragged me off to his granddad's house."

"Of course, well your father and I are heading home. Are you coming? You can stay a little later if you'd like."

Lily looked over at Lorcan. He was back with the Greengrass whore he'd been talking to before coming to her aid. Well she certainly didn't have anything more to say to him.

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

><p>Lily sat in the living room watching dad's Muggle television the next morning waiting for Lorcan. He said he'd be there and he had yet to break a promise to her. Beyond that she'd made up her mind. First kiss, first snog, first orgasm – why not first boyfriend. Well, first proper boyfriend anyway. It wasn't going to be anything serious. Not like what Rose and Scorpius had. Lily wouldn't have to worry about whether or not Lorcan was her boyfriend. They were going to get that all settled today. There wouldn't be any drama either. Because it was only temporary.<p>

Right, only temporary. Only until they had sex. How long did normal people wait to have sex? Like a month or two? Lily could date Lorcan for a month or two. She could last that long. Besides she liked Lorcan. They hung out all the time at school. How could this be all that different? Except now when she wanted a snog she could immediately go to him instead of having to flirt with some bloke who might end up being a prude or wanting more than she was willing to give. Lorcan knew her limits and now knew that he could push them to the very end. This would be good. Very good.

Lily heard the door open, but didn't bother turning around. She knew that the only people who actually knew where her house was were friends. Whoever it was, was definitely friendly. She heard them walk to the kitchen and figured it was one of her brothers. They always made a bee-line for the kitchen whenever they came home. She realized a few minutes later that she was wrong when she smelled food cooking. Her brothers never cooked. It was ready made or starvation.

She got up and went to the kitchen. Lorcan stood at the stove frying up an egg. "Fried egg sandwich?" he offered.

"I already ate," she said.

He dumped the egg between two slices of bread and ate it in three bites. "So, you made up your mind?"

"Right to business, I see?"

"Not business… romance."

"It's not very romantic, you blackmailing me into dating you," Lily snapped.

"Blackmailing? Really?"

"Yes! The only way I get to lose my virginity the way I want to is by being your girlfriend. You have something I want and you're making me do something I don't want to do in exchange."

He stared at her for a second before flipping a mint into his mouth. "Fine. Blackmail. If that's the way it's going to be then I think rules are in order."

"Rules? Really?"

"Yeah, rules. Now let's see… We'll have sex over Easter Break-"

"That's eight months away!" She couldn't be someone's girlfriend for eight months!

"Exactly. This way we'll have to be together over Winter Break. We'll have to tell the family."

"Gran Molly will be planning our wedding before the end of dinner!"

"Worse things could happen."

"I don't see how!" Lily exclaimed.

"What is this fear of commitment? Honestly it's like I'm asking you to murder someone-"

"You are!" Lily insisted. "You're asking me to murder me!"

"Oh, so dramatic," Lorcan said, rolling his eyes. "Do you have any idea what the guys in our year say about you?"

Lily's mouth dropped open. Where had that come from? "What're you talking about?"

"You have no idea how many blokes I've given detentions to for calling you a slag? You might think it's all in good fun but guys are arseholes and when you snog a bloke and then ditch him for another he going to call you easy."

"I'm not easy! I just enjoy casual snog-based relationships."

"You mean liaisons," Lorcan corrected.

"I know what I mean, thank you very much," Lily said, tensely. "What do you think? Do you think I'm easy?"

He shrugged. "I think that you know none of those guys are right for you and you've been running like hell from the one bloke who is. Why? I'll never know."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Merlin, you're dense. I'm talking about _me_."

"That's nonsense. I've never run from you. In fact I recall running to you upon occasion."

Lorcan rolled his eyes and walked past her. Lily followed him as he made his way up to her room. "What are you doing up here?" He pulled his shirt off. "What are you doing?"

He wrapped his arm around her waist, leaned his head down and sucked her ear lobe into his mouth. Lily gripped his arms, holding him close. "I'm hoping to change your mind," he whispered, kissing his way down her throat. "You are the most amazing person in my life. Do I think you're easy? No way. You're the most complicated difficult woman in the world. And I want you anyway. So, will you be my girlfriend for eight measly months?"

Lily bit her lip. Eight months wasn't too much longer than she intended. Besides this was Lorcan. Even if he was being dense and stupid about them being together. Instead of answering Lily slipped her tank top over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra.

Lorcan smirked. He wasn't looking her in the eye. "Very nice, but are you going to answer me?"

"Can't we just snog and leave it at that?" Lily asked petulantly.

He pulled her close and kissed her. "No. Tell me I'm your boyfriend and then I'll snog you."

Lily pressed her lips to his and whispered, "Blackmail." Lorcan snorted. "Fine. You're my _boyfriend_."

"Not very enthusiastic but I'll take it."

He picked her up and carried her over to the bed. They fell onto the mattress together, with him on top. He unsnapped her jeans, pulled them down with her knickers. Lily felt lust burn through her chest as his eyes ate her up. She touched his cheek bringing his eyes back to hers.

"We don't have to wait, you know?"

He shook his head, "No, no we don't. But we're going to."

Lily growled in frustration. Lorcan ignored her and laid next to her. "I want to try something. You interested?" Lily reached to his belt, but Lorcan brushed her hand away.

"I trust you," she said.

Lorcan pushed Lily onto her back, gently spread her legs and fell into the cradle. She hiked her legs around his waist. They lay still for a moment, her enjoying the rough texture of his jean clad erection against her center. He rubbed up against her and she nearly screamed it felt so good.

"That's it, love," he whispered.

He sealed his mouth over hers and continued to thrust against her. Her hips began to move in sync with his and her nails dug into his back. With every upward thrust the tip of his erection brushed against her clit. She felt moisture leaking from her, soaking the front of his jeans. It was the single most satisfying moment of her life. They kept up this dance until Lily fell to pieces in his arms.

As soon as she recovered she pulled him from his trousers and rubbed him to completion. They lay together for a few minutes, Lily lost in pleasure.

_Hell, _she thought, _if dating is anything like this I might actually enjoy it._


	2. The Boyfriend

A/N: AGAIN BOYS AND GIRLS THIS IS A VERY SOUR FIC! LOTS OF LEMONS AND VERY INTENSE ONES AT THAT! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

**Chapter Two**

The Boyfriend

December first and on her way home for Winter Break, Lily Potter sat in an uncomfortable silence with her boyfriend. They'd gotten into an argument the day before because Lily wanted to tell the family that they'd broken up just for the holidays. That way she wouldn't have to deal with her manic family going nuts over her dating Lorcan. At the time it had seemed like a damn good idea. But then he had to throw the whole 'that's not part of the deal' crap in her face and make her feel ridiculous.

But she couldn't possibly tell him that she didn't want to break up at all, even after Easter Break. She couldn't tell him she wanted to be his girlfriend all the time. She had to at least pretend she wasn't enjoying it. She had a reputation to uphold after all. Damn her pride. It had been so good to her in the past but now it felt like the only thing keeping her from really being with Lorcan.

The way she was feeling was all his fault anyway. He just had to be the world's best boyfriend. He just had to walk her to all of her classes and hold her hand and buy her gifts when they went to Hogsmeade. Plus he had to spend all kinds of time with her. It wasn't like when they were friends just screwing around. He actually sought her out to spend time with her. In the library (when she actually bothered to study), during meals and in the Common Room, when he would… tell her about his day. And ask her about hers! It was terrible!

The worst part was that no one had been surprised. She hadn't gotten a shocked letter from her parents when she knew that Hugo and Dominique had told their parents. Neither her father nor her mother had commented on it at all and yet she knew they knew because her brothers had pitched a fit over it. Were they surprised, no. Were they pissed, yes. They assumed (correctly) that Lily and Lorcan had been screwing around for a while and weren't too happy about it. If they knew her parents must know which meant that the whole damn family knew.

Which also meant that she was being an idiot.

She was fighting with her boyfriend over nothing other than her pride. Her damn Potter pride wouldn't allow her to be wrong even though she knew she was. Or let her tell Lorcan that she was his proper girlfriend not his… blackmailed into it girlfriend or at the very least that she wanted to be.

Lily glanced over at Lorcan. He was staring out the window with his arms crossed. She was sitting next to him, her thigh pressed against his, but he didn't take the hint and touch her the way she wanted him to. Hugo was sitting across from them, his head on his girlfriend's lap, dead to the world. Dominique was flipping through the latest issue of _Witch_ _Weekly_ with Hugo's Muggleborn sixth year. They were basically alone but not nearly alone enough for what Lily needed to say to Lorcan. If she was going to admit she'd made a mistake there was no way her family could hear it.

Lily wrapped her fingers around his bicep and tugged until he looked at her. His light green eyes clashed against her hazel eyes. He had never looked so harshly at her. Lily felt her eyes begin to water. It wasn't until a moment later she realized she was about to cry. She'd never felt like crying over a guy before, least of all Lorcan. Lily pulled away from him, got up and left the compartment. She rushed down the corridor to the toilet, holding a hand over her mouth to keep the tears at bay. She really didn't want anyone seeing her cry over her boyfriend. She slammed to door to the tiny cubical behind her and broke down.

Over her seventeen years Lily had only really cried twice that she could remember. The first time had been when she was nine and Albus had gone to Hogwarts, leaving her behind. She couldn't remember every being quite so sad before that. She knew that she'd cried, like when she was a baby, but growing up with two annoying older brothers did quite a bit to toughen her up. The second time was when her cat, King Edward, died in her third year and Lorcan had been there to hold her and make her feel better.

This time she was crying _because_ of him.

She closed the toilet seat, sat down and tried to regain control over her emotions. Very little bothered Lily Potter. She was a survivor damn it! When blokes called her names after she dropped them it didn't bother her, when girls got jealous and said nasty things about her it bounced right off her. But something about Lorcan looking at her like… like… like he hated her just broke her heart. The worst part was knowing she could have prevented it. She used the paper to wipe up her face. Lily just hated how she looked when she cried. Her face got all red and she had a hard time talking and breathing.

Her indrawn breath stuttered as she tried to breathe just as a knock sounded at the door.

"Oc-oc-occ-upied," she said, eventually.

"Oh, Lily."

She sniffled, recognizing Lorcan's voice. "I-I- I'll be out in a second," she called. The locked clicked and door swung open. Lily covered her face, "I just got som-som-something in my eye." She felt him squeeze into the cubical and heard him close the door behind him. He picked her up, switched them around. He settled her onto his lap and wrapped his arm around her waist. "There's something in my eye," Lily insisted, refusing to cuddle into his embrace.

"Lily, look at me," he said, gently taking her cheek in his hand. She pushed him away, stubborn to the core and refusing to let him know she was crying over him. "Lily I am your boyfriend, let me comfort you damn it!"

"Nothing's wrong!" Lily insisted, her heart inflating because he said he was her boyfriend.

"Mother of Merlin, Potter! Just admit you're upset because I've been ignoring you," he snapped.

"I had something in my eye!" Lily yelled no longer feeling weepy.

"You. Are. Impossible!"

Lily tried to get off his lap but he held her firm, she could feel him hardening against her bum, but she was far too at odd with herself and him to get him off in the train toilet. She managed to wiggle out of his arms. When she finally met his gaze he was glaring at her. She clenched her jaw to keep a second onslaught of tears at bay. He must have known her too long because his whole demeanor changed in a second.

"Lily," he opened his arms, "come here."

"No! I'm fine."

"Why won't you just admit that you're wrong?" he demanded.

Lily crossed her arms and took a deep breath. "Why did you look at me like you hate me in the compartment?"

He sighed and leaned back. "Tell me you were wrong and I'll apologize."

"More blackmail!"

"All right! I'm sorry, now will you tell me you were wrong?"

"I freaked out, okay? My parents haven't said anything about us and I can just imagine my whole bloody family throwing a fit like they did over Teddy and Victoire."

"As I recall they were very happy about those two," Lorcan said.

"Yes, but also completely mental! I wanted to avoid it but now it just seems stupid and pointless because knowing my parents they wouldn't believe we'd broken up anyway. Plus it wouldn't stop Gran Molly from throwing us a pre-engagement party anyway, like she did for Teddy and Victoire."

"So… you were…" He raised his eyebrows and held his hands out for her to finish his sentence.

"Fine I was wrong!"

"That's my girl."

Lorcan got up and in swift movement had Lily in his arms. He picked her up and placed her one the tiny counter next to the sink. His lips were devouring hers a second later. Lily groaned, loving the feeling of him so close to her. She wrapped her legs around his hips, drawing him closer still. He slipped his hands under her skirt, tugged her knickers off and pulled her to the edge of the counter before dropping to his knees.

"Allow me to apologize properly," he asked.

Lily merely gasped and threw back her head. He brought his mouth to her nether lips, her tongue running up and down her seam before settling on her clit. The tip of his tongue teased her, circling her clit, humming against it, torturing it until she dug her fingers into his scalp and writhed against his face. Lily bit her lip to keep from screaming it felt so good. He pulled away and Lily did scream.

"Just Silencing the room," he said with a flick of his wand. "Feel free to scream, love. I want to hear it."

Lorcan's mouth went right back to work. Lily's fingers tangled in his hair and she began to whimper, louder and louder as he worked her to the very peek of pleasure. His lips sucked at her clit when his fingers pushed into her. As his finger thrust and his mouth sucked Lily lost her fragile hold and came with a scream. He stood up and kissed her. Lily groaned and held onto him with all her might.

She could feel Lorcan's arousal pressing against her. This time her pride didn't let her down. It wouldn't let her leave him wanting.

Lily pushed him back and got on her knees. "Baby, you don't have to," he said, clearly not meaning it. She ignored him, unzipped his trousers and pulled him out. Her mouth was around him a second later, feeling the heavy weight of him against her tongue. She cradled his testicles and teased the head. Her mouth moved up and down his shaft massaging the taught skin with her tongue and throat. Minutes later he tugged on her hair to tell her it was time to move away. He exploded all over the sink. A drip hung off his tip, Lily's tongue darted out and licked it off. It was salty with an essence that was all Lorcan. She licked her lips and looked up at him. He was gaping at her.

"Come here, baby."

Lily smiled and very happily curled into his arms. With a wave of his wand he cleaned them both and kissed her.

There was knock at the door. "Occupied!" Lorcan yelled after countering the Silencing Charm.

"Guys!" Dominique yelled. "We're almost at King's Cross. And you should be happy I found you. If Hugo had he'd have kicked the crap out of Lorcan for whatever you two are doing."

Lily smiled against Lorcan's throat as he laughed. "Way to pass the trip, eh love?"

* * *

><p>Lily toyed with the short hairs on Lorcan's chest. His head was resting on her lap while she watched telly and he read a Quidditch magazine. James and Albus were sitting across from them, glaring like "good" older brothers. Lily was doing her best to ignore them. She'd hoped to spend the day in orgasmic bliss with her boyfriend but her brothers decided to take the week before Christmas off in order to prevent her from giving Lorcan his gift. Or so she assumed.<p>

It had taken her nearly a month to figure out what to get him. He could and would get every material thing he wanted from the rest of the family. She had to give him something appropriate to present to him in front of the squares but his real gift wouldn't be given until they were alone. She'd hoped to give it to him before Christmas but if her brother's didn't bugger off that would be impossible. She was doing her best to act like it didn't bother her. Her tapping foot gave her away, though. Lorcan was doing a lot better at acting like nothing was wrong, but he knew she was agitated.

He tossed his magazine on the coffee table and sat up half way, leaning his head on her shoulder, his arm draped over her leg. By their standards it was tame but for Albus it was too much. He threw a pillow at Lorcan.

"That's it, we're leaving!" Lily insisted getting up.

Lorcan grabbed her hand. "Come on, baby, it's all in good fun," he insisted.

"She has a name, jackass!" James insisted.

"Do you hear this?" Lily asked, pleading with her boyfriend. "Not in good fun! They're bloody hypocrites. I don't know how many girls I've heard James call 'baby' because he didn't know their names!"

"Hey!" James said, affronted

"And don't get me started on Al! Or shall I call him by his given name? The biggest prude on the face of the earth!"

"Oi!" This utterance from Albus.

"You know he punched Rose's husband just for touching her bum?"

"He had his hand under her skirt," Albus said in his own defense. "And he was not her husband at the time or even her boyfriend. He had no right!"

Lily turned on her brother. "Bollocks! Like all the girls either of you've snogged have been your girlfriends. Oh wait, no they weren't!"

Albus and James both glowered at their sister. "Could we not argue?" Lorcan asked. "If the two of you don't want to see us together I'm fairly certain you both still have Christmas shopping to do."

"What? So you can take advantage of our sister while we're out?" James demanded.

"I hadn't planned on it." Not exactly a lie, very few of their sexual interludes were _planned_. "But I can tell you both are uncomfortable and it might be better if you did your shopping now."

"And if you don't leave we will and I promise I won't come back a virgin," Lily threatened. Her brothers paled and her boyfriend rolled his eyes.

"Fine, fine we're leaving!" James said getting up and heading towards the door with Albus on his heels. "Keep your knickers on-"

"And you're legs closed!" Albus said.

Once the door slammed behind them, Lorcan started laughing. "What?"

"Way to make my life easier," he said. She stuck her tongue out at him. "Come over here and do that."

Lily smiled and fell into his arms. They'd been planning on having a proper snog on the living room couch for ages but with her brothers around for the holidays they had yet to even kiss without being interrupted. It was good old fashion snog, little groping (all outside the clothes) but mostly just kissing. Lorcan kissed his way down her throat and Lily took a moment to check the time. Her brothers would be gone for hours but considering how easily she got lost in her boyfriend she really did have to watch the clock. The very last thing she wanted were her brothers to catch her snogging on the couch.

Something caught her attention on the telly before she even got the chance to glance at the clock. She felt her stomach fill with butterflies. She squealed. Lorcan's head popped up.

"I didn't even do anything interesting," he said.

Lily tore her eyes from the television and looked at her boyfriend, confused. "What? Oh, never mind. Get off me." She pushed him back and hopped off the couch, settling on the coffee she un-muted the television. "Andy Carroll," she sighed. "The only reason I watch Muggle football. You and your fabulous bum!"

Lorcan sat behind her, his legs on either side of hers and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Instead of snogging we're going to watch football?"

"Shh! Look! Ohhhh! Look at him run… Good Merlin… Ah! And on his back!" Lily watched in awe as he fell on his back with his legs in the air. His baggy shorts fell down revealing his toned thighs. Lily sighed. "Oh Merlin."

"Shit, woman! How old is he?"

"I think he's in his early thirties. Besides hot is ageless! But that's actually not why I like him- well its part of it but not a significant part."

"Then what is it?" he asked, harshly.

Lily was too taken with watching Andy Carroll to notice her boyfriend's foul attitude. "He's a bad boy, you know? Been in a few fights. Illegitimate child or two. He's the sort of bloke who would throw you down on a bed, rip your clothes off and do naughty bad things to you. The kind of bloke who ties you up and spanks you and makes you like it."

A moment later the remote control was out of her hand and the telly was off. "Hey!" she exclaimed. "I was watching that."

"No, you were wanking off to that," Lorcan snapped.

He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Lily of course knew how strong he was, but she hadn't a clue he was built enough to pick her up and carry her. Let alone carry her all the way up to her room while she laughed and he got progressively more agitated. With her bedroom door shut, locked and Silenced, Lorcan threw her onto her bed. Lily looked up at him coyly. It didn't matter much what he did to her, she knew she would enjoy it.

Lorcan tore her button up shirt open and violently pulled it off. His wand whipped out next causing a small tear at the top of her skirt, he ripped in two before throwing it over his shoulder. He took hold of the back of her neck and pulled her up. While he unsnapped her bra Lily gripped his belt, forcing him to look in her eyes. She hoped he could see how much she trusted him in her gaze. There was not a thought in her mind that this interlude wouldn't be wonderful. Intense but wonderful.

After removing her bra he bent down to give her a short hard kiss. Lorcan pushed her back onto the bed, gripping one arm he flipped her over. He took both wrist and held them at the small of her back. A moment later Lily felt soft bands bind her wrists together. She moaned.

He moved so that he was kneeling on either side of her hips and brought his head down next to hers. His mouth right by her ear. "This Andy Carroll isn't the only bloke who will tie you up and spank you and make you like it," he whispered. "Now to give you the hiding you so ardently deserve."

Lorcan moved off of the bed, tugged her hips to the edge so that her legs dangled over the side. He pulled her knickers down to her knees. For a moment he stroked her bare bum. She expected him to begin immediately and had tensed for the smack that didn't come. As soon as she relaxed, his hands left her body, seconds later the flat of his palm came down hard. Lily bit into her bedspread. It smarted but felt so damn good. He stroked the cheek he'd just spanked, soothing the skin then proceeded to smack the other. He continued back and forth, spanking each cheek in turn until Lily couldn't contain herself anymore and began moaning and squealing and arching her back towards him.

By the time he stopped and flipped her over Lily was sure her bum was bright red (she wouldn't be able to sit right for days) she was also very aware of how wet she was. He stood over her looking very self satisfied. "Now to do those naughty bad things to you," he said.

"I thought you already had," Lily said breathlessly. She wiggled, her arms still bound behind her, forcing her back to arch invitingly.

"Not even close." He tugged her panties the rest of the way off. Lorcan pushed her knees to her chest, leaving her exposed in a new way. He attacked her center with his mouth and hands. Lily squealed happily and tried to spread her legs for him, but he stopped and held firm. "I will tie your legs together, Potter. Now sit still. Your brothers asked that you keep your legs closed and closed they shall remain." He smiled wickedly before returning to his assault on her sanity.

Lily screamed her release at the top of her lungs, thanking Merlin for the man with her and his naughty bad tongue. Lorcan let her legs fall back onto the bed and straddled her hips. He held her eyes with his as he unzipped his trouser and pulled out his engorged length. His right hand dipped between her legs before wrapping around his erection, moving up and down, slowly. Lily watched mesmerized, her mouth falling open. She almost begged him to give her a taste.

"Is that an invitation, love?" he asked, smirking down at her. She groaned. Lily just loved it when he was so arrogant. Did she want a taste? Hell yeah! His breathing became labored. "You know, I don't think so." He growled deep in his throat and came all over her breasts. He fell forward but caught himself on his hands before smothering Lily.

She looked up at him. "Kiss me," she begged. He didn't, instead he took out his wand vanished her bonds and cleaned them both. He got out of bed and fixed his clothes, not looking at her. "Lorcan," she called, confused. "Come here and kiss me."

He didn't, he just repaired her clothes and kept his back to her.

"I don't understand!" Lily exclaimed getting out of bed and in his face. "What did I do? Why won't you kiss me?"

"You, Lily?" Lorcan asked, looking furious. "You didn't do anything. I'm the one who lost his temper and hurt you!"

Realization dawned and Lily relaxed. "Don't be a tosser, Lorcan. I liked it and, as I recall, asked for it."

"No you didn't! I dragged you up here and did this to you." He hauled her over to her full length mirror and turned her around. Lily looked over her shoulder at her bum. The round cheeks she'd always considered one of best attributes were red along with the tops of her thighs. She stroked the skin, feeling the heat that was only there because his spanking.

She trembled remembering how good it felt.

Lily maneuvered her way back into his arms and forced him to look at her. "I promise you, Lorcan, I promise that I liked it. And besides I thought this was a spanking I deserved for- what was it? Oh yes- wanking to Andy Carroll."

"Lily," he sighed.

"How about this? If you do anything that makes me uncomfortable or that I don't like or even hurts the wrong way I'll say so. I'll say… rhinoceros!" Lily offered. He arched an eyebrow at her. "It'll be our safe word."

He cracked a smile and Lily knew she had him. She stood up on her toes and kissed him.

* * *

><p>By Christmas dinner Lily could finally sit normally. She wasn't very good a healing spells so the skin on her bum had to heal naturally. Especially because she was not going to ask anyone else to heal it for her. Unanswerable questions would follow. They were having dinner at the Burrow. It was the first Christmas that Rose wasn't spending with the family. She was spending it with her in-laws much to the consternations of her father and brother. Aunt Hermione was significantly more open minded about it.<p>

As expected Gran Molly threw an almighty fit over Lily and Lorcan talking nearly nonstop about how she'd always known and how they would make the most beautiful great grandbabies. Lily curled into Lorcan's side and tried to hide how much she liked what she was hearing. The few remaining youngsters sat on the floor and tore open their gifts while everyone else looked on. Lily had her pile of gifts on the floor in front of her with Lorcan's waiting in her hand. Gift giving was carefully orchestrated in the Burrow. The youngsters went first and then the older kids then the parents.

Lily toyed with the bow on the small box in her hands. She hoped he hadn't spent too much on it (but secretly hoped he had) because she hadn't spent much on his gift. Well the gift he was opening tonight anyway. The costume she ordered out of catalogue of a sexy Muggle nurse had cost an arm and leg, not to mention the strip tease DVD she'd been practicing to since they got back from school. She made sure to only put it in Dad's player when she knew the house would be empty for hours and hid the DVD in the darkest corner of her trunk when not in use. All in all the sexy dance had come together nicely with the costume and just as soon as her brothers buggered off she would drag Lorcan up to her room and rock his world.

As the last piece of wrapping paper flew from the last present, Lily tore open her gift from Lorcan. Her heart fluttered madly as she flipped open the lid to reveal a tiny heart shaped charm hanging from a thin chain. She'd never admitted to anyone but him but… she always secretly wanted a bloke to buy her some piece of heart shaped jewelry. The fact that he remembered touched her in the one place only he could reach. _Her_ heart.

Lily blinked back tears feeling ridiculous and looked over at Lorcan. He was opening her gift, but before taking the lid off the cardboard box he turned to her. "You like it?" he asked as if he hadn't just given her the best present in the world. Lily bit her lip and nodded, he smiled. "Good." Lily lay her head on his shoulder and reached randomly for another gift. She pulled the tissue paper out and looked inside. Chocolate. It was probably from Hugo. He never knew what to get anyone so he invariably got everyone chocolate.

"What is this, Lily?"

She looked over. Lorcan was holding her gift up by the chain. She reached out and forced his hand down lest anyone see and blushed. Lorcan's eyes widened. Lily Luna Potter did not blush about anything.

"It's well… I was watching the Lord of the Rings a few weeks ago and one character- a girl- gave another- a boy- a charm she always wore around her neck as a sign of-" Lily broke off. She'd been about say, _as a sign of how much she loved him._ But when drawing parallels that one would definitely bite her in the arse. So instead she said, "-of how she feels about him. Since I don't really wear any necklace regularly but I do wear that ring a lot… I just thought… I dunno… do you hate it?"

Lorcan looked down at the small rose gold band with the tiny round pink sapphire hanging off a copper colored chain and then back up at her. He took her chin in his hand and kissed her sweetly until a pillow hit him in the head. He didn't spare a glance for the Potter boy who threw it. "I love it, Lily. I'll wear it always." To prove his point he hooked it around his neck and tucked it into his shirt.

Lily's heart fluttered happily. It was her favorite ring hanging around his neck, laying atop his heart. She'd found it at a Muggle craft show years ago and rarely went a day without wearing it. It was a simple ring to be sure but Lily knew that sometimes the simplest things can be the best. Take the heart Lorcan had given her. It was tiny, under an inch in any direction, glittering with tiny diamonds and set in white gold. There was nothing over the top about it. But what he said with it spoke volumes.

Lily latched the necklace around her neck and felt it land right between her breasts, right over her heart. She touched the glittering jewel and tugged on the chain around her boyfriend's neck, and smiled.

A strip tease might be nice (and it certainly was when Lily finally got to giving it to him) and for a long time Lily thought that it was her real gift to him, but in the end the real gift had been her heart. She couldn't hide from it anymore. She'd given him something that she loved as a sign of how much she loved him.

Playing with the tiny diamond heart around her neck as she opened the remainder of her gifts Lily could only hope that the heart laying over her heart was a sign that he loved her too.


	3. The Finale

A/N: Don't get mad! A little drama but it wouldn't be a fic about Lily Luna Potter without it! It all works out. AGAIN SUPER DUPER LEMONY! ALSO EVERYTHING SAID HERE IS MEANT TO BE HUMOROUS, THE COMMENTS THAT I MAKE ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY ARE MEANT AS JOKES PLEASE TAKE THEM THAT WAY! This is just a warning for the oversensitive.

**Chapter Three**

The Finale

The day before Easter Break and Lily lay in Lorcan's dorm bed naked next to him, also naked. She wanted a do over. In the early stages of their relationship they'd decided to consummate the day before Easter Break so that when they returned home they could break the news that they were no longer together _that_ _way_. But their love making had been so stilted and awkward that Lily lay unsatisfied and as turned off as she'd ever been in Lorcan's presence. They had been laying in silence for almost as long as it had taken them to have sex. Lily fiddled with the edge of the sheet and Lorcan stared at the canopy of his bed with his arms behind his head. If the bed hadn't been so small Lily was sure they wouldn't have been touching at all. No they would have been on opposite sides of the bed until one of them got up the nerve to leave.

Lily gripped the blanket so hard her knuckles turned white. She had already promised herself she wouldn't cry. Realizing that this was his dorm and his bed she ought to be the one to leave, Lily slipped out from under the covers and began dressing. All the while she waited for him to say something but he didn't. She wanted him to beg her not to go. To declare his undying love and propose. She fussed with her shirt and waited. She fixed her hair and waited. She tied and retied her shoes and waited. When it became clear he wasn't going to say anything, Lily skipped over sad and heartbroken and went straight for mad as Hell. He'd been the one to say that he was the right guy for her and now he was acting like THIS! Right after she'd let him closer to her than any other man had ever been. Really?

She stomped over to his side. Lorcan sat up, an odd look on his face. Had Lily been less furious she would have called it relieved. It was short lived, though. Dramatic to her core Lily did the only thing she could think off to let him know how much he'd hurt her with his silence. She ripped the diamond heart from around her neck, dropped it on the floor and crushed it beneath her heel. That done she tore her ring from the chain around his neck and threw it across the room.

Lorcan reached out and said, aghast, "Lily-" But she didn't hear any of it as she'd already stomped out of the dorm and slammed the door behind her.

She ran as fast as she could out of Gryffindor tower and headed any direction that got her far away from Lorcan and the act that brought them together only to tear them apart. Gasping for breath Lily leaned against the wall in a random corridor. When she could finally breathe again she noticed she was no longer alone. Angus Finnegan was standing far too close to her and looking flirtatious. Lily sighed. He used to be one of her regular snogging partners. If no one else was willing Angus always was. And at the moment he was the very last person she wanted to see. Well, maybe second last.

"How you doing, Potter?" he asked in a faux casual tone.

"Been better, Finnegan," she said, tersely. "How 'bout you?"

"Not so good," he sighed, moving closer. "You see, with you and Scamander together I've been missing my favorite pair of lips." Lily nearly retched. "So… where is your keeper?"

Now she just wanted to punch him. "We broke up actually," spoken as calmly as she could manage.

"Pity… so you wanna snog?"

Lily rolled her eyes. Their interaction always worked better when he didn't talk. "No, Finnegan. I don't want to snog. Ever again, actually. In fact I'll be in the girl's toilet looking for a lesbian lover, if you'll excuse me." She walked away feeling incredibly satisfied for the first time all day.

"You know Finnegan's been telling everyone you're a lesbian?" Dominique asked on the train the next day. Lily snorted, but didn't comment. "Are you and Lorcan having a tiff? Is that why he isn't sitting with us?"

Lily refused to let herself think that the compartment felt empty without Lorcan. Or that she felt empty without him next to her. He'd been staring at her during dinner the night before and during breakfast both of which she spent sitting far from him. Lily had very pointedly ignored him. He'd made his bed and she'd be damned if she would lie in it.

"We're not together anymore," Lily said, trying to keep her cool. Her emotions were all over the place. Uncertainty was playing merry hell with her state of mind.

"Really?" Dominique said. "Because Lorcan said you guy had a misunderstanding."

Lily pursed her lips and refused to believe that the feeling permeating her chest was hope. "The only misunderstand he's having is that we're still together."

"It's not because you're a lesbian, is it?"

Lily sighed and rubbed her temples.

* * *

><p>Home for two days Lily spent most of her time in her room, ignoring her family, particularly her mum who'd tried to have an extremely embarrassing conversation with her about being a lesbian. When she explained the circumstances under which she claimed to be homosexual Ginny Potter had tried to console her daughter who absolutely refused to be consoled. The only way she was keeping it together, Lily realized, was by pretending her heart wasn't broken. It was easier with Lorcan not around. To pretend. She knew she was going to have an issue tonight, though. Tonight was Easter dinner with the family at the Burrow and that would definitely include the Scamanders.<p>

But the biggest problem, from Lily's in denial point of view, was that her parents couldn't seem to take a hint. They both agreed (Ginny's words) that Lily and Lorcan were just having a particularly bad argument, as young people often do. Lily stared at her mother for a good five minutes upon hearing this before, in a dead pan voice saying that they, she and Lorcan, were through, as in not together anymore, as in not dating or seeing each other or screwing around or anything. Period. End of sentence. Made no difference both Ginny and Harry Potter were sure Lily and Lorcan could work it out. Because, and I quote, "Your father and I worked it out and that was in the middle of a war!"

Lily rolled her eyes at the memory. Her mum just didn't understand that just because there wasn't a war going on now that didn't make relationships any easier to sort out. Plus she wasn't her mother and Lorcan (thank Merlin) wasn't her father. Different people, different problems. Just because she and Dad worked it out didn't mean that Lily and Lorcan would.

Lily lounged in bed flipping through the channels on the telly her father had gotten her for Christmas when there was a knock at the door. Lily pictured her mum on the other side and shouted. "For the last time, mum! I'm not a lesbian!"

The door swung open and James peeked in. "Good to know, but not really why we're here." Albus followed James inside and closed the door. Lily clicked the telly off. "Ummm…" James began.

"Mum and Dad want us to talk to you about Lorcan-" Albus began.

"As blokes around his age-" James interrupted.

"Maybe we can help sort out whatever misunderstanding you two are having-"

"Because everybody really likes you two together-"

"And he seems to actually make you happy-"

"Plus he keeps you from snogging random blokes in broom closets-"

"Yeah, we know you've been snogging him-"

"Which is good because we know Lorcan's a good bloke-"

"Unlike Finnegan-"

"Or any of the others-"

"It provides some peace of mind for us, you understand?" Albus concluded.

"And talking to you will get mum and dad off our backs," James added. "So we won't be leaving 'til we've hashed this thing out." He sat on the side of her bed and Albus pulled the chair from her desk over.

Lily looked from one brother to the other and realized they wouldn't leave her alone until they'd "helped." She sat up. Might as well get this over with. "All right. Where do we begin?"

James shifted uncomfortably. "Well… umm… what're you two having it out over? We'll start there." Lily snorted. There was no way she was telling her brothers _that_.

"Come on, Lils," Albus pushed. "We're your brothers. We're here to help not to judge."

"Yeah," James agreed. "Whatever irrational girly thing you did to get in an argument with Lorcan, we understand. Hell we've been there!"

"You're just assuming that it's my fault!" Lily said, affronted.

"Well, Lorcan said you two had a misunderstanding and you refused to talk to him," Albus explained.

"Refused to talk to him?" Lily yelled, infuriated. "He hasn't even tried to talk to me!"

"Whatever it is, just tell us and we'll help you sort it out," James said. "It's not entirely impossible that you're both being pigheaded."

Lily glared at her brother until Albus added, "Or that just Lorcan is."

"How am I supposed to tell either of you anything when you threw pillows at him for kissing me. If I tell you the real reason we're not together anymore you'll probably kill him."

Both brothers considered this for a moment. Then James spoke. "There isn't much we'd kill him over," he said.

"Only if he shagged you then ditched you," Albus said. Lily grimaced. Sometimes Albus was too on point for his own good. Unfortunately both brothers caught her expression and came to the same (accurate (sorta)) conclusion. "He didn't!"

"Well-" Lily began.

"He did!" James exclaimed, standing up.

"We'll have to kill tonight," Albus said.

"Or at the very least seriously maim him."

"Guys, stop!" Lily yelled.

"We can't just let him off for this one, little sister!" James said.

"It's a matter of… brotherly pride," Albus explained.

"Exactly," James agreed. "We have to kill him or we're bad brothers."

"Or you could shut up and listen before acting stupidly?" Lily suggested.

"I'm beginning to think we don't know the whole story, dear brother," James surmised. Lily arched eyebrow at him until he sat back down. "Do explain, sister dear. We're all ears."

"Best part we already know the grossest bit of your relationship so you can be entirely honest," Albus said, crossing his arms.

Lily groaned and leaned back against her pillows. This was going to be _painful_. Stealing her nerves and contenting herself with the knowledge that she really didn't want to take this particular mistake to the grave, she blurted out as quickly as she could the following:

"Lorcan and I kissed for the first time when we were eleven. Snogged for the first time when we were thirteen and… well… proceeded from there. I always just assumed he would be my first, you know, lover, so at Rose and Scorpius' wedding I asked him if he wanted to, let's say, take care of that for me. Well he pitched a fit and insisted I be his girlfriend until Easter Break at which time we would… go all the way. But over the past months I came, begrudgingly, to the conclusion that I wanted to date him for longer than just Easter Break but didn't know how to tell him. So we did _it_ the day before break, it was ruddy awful and once we were done we both just laid there not talking. I got up, dressed and got really pissed off, pulled the necklace he gave me off and broke it and ripped my ring off the chain around his neck off and threw it before stomping out. At which point Finnegan found me and I lied about being a lesbian." Lily took a deep breath and looked at her brothers.

After a moment, James said, "Well looks like you've got this sorted," and stood up.

"James, sit down," Albus snapped.

"She should be talking to mum about this!" James exclaimed. "What the hell do we know?"

"Not a lot apparently. They've been screwing around since first year." Albus ran his hand through his hair. "So he didn't really drop you?"

Lily shook her head. "It's like we fell apart."

"Right. You sort of dropped each other."

"By not communicating," Albus and Lily spared James a pair of shocked looks. "What? I cotton on every once and a while!"

"James is right. You should have said something before you guys… did anything and he should have said something after."

Lily shrugged. She really didn't want to think about it. Everything ran smoother when she didn't think about it. Her heart wasn't overburdened with hope (foolish) or sorrow (painful). It was stagnate. She felt nothing because nothing was the only safe thing to feel. If she started thinking and analyzing she would start feeling and that only led to trouble. Lily was well aware that this was a temporary arrangement and that someday soon she'd have to deal with her unresolved feelings but right now all Lily could think was that that was future Lily's problem and she had to worry about present Lily.

"It's not too late," James said.

"Yeah, you'll see him tonight. The pair of you can talk then," Albus said. "All you have to do is tell him you still want to be with him-" Lily shook her head. "What? Why not?"

"Because I don't just want to be with him," Lily said, staring at her hands.

"Could you not be a girl for three seconds and just say what you mean?" James begged.

Lily rolled her eyes at her brother's arse-i-ness. "I love him."

"So? Doesn't that mean you two should get back together?" James asked. "Merlin I hate talking to girls. Your whole bloody gender won't just talk sense!"

Lily ignored the insult. "Having some trouble with a lady friend, bro?" James wrinkled his nose but said nothing.

"Be that as it may, James has a point though, Lily," Albus said.

"I love him but he hurt me. We made love and when I needed him to say something, to tell me he wanted me forever, or even for right now. Or even just to say it was awesome and he couldn't wait to do it again-" James and Albus groaned in unison, "-or anything really he didn't say anything!" Tears leaked from her eyes. "He didn't say anything! He just laid there and let me leave. How can I be with someone who would do that to me? Who _could_ do that to me?"

James looked torn, so Albus answered. "People aren't perfect, Lily. Sometimes the person you love is going to screw up and say something you don't like or not say something when you need them to. The only way to actually live with someone in a real adult relationship is to forgive them when they screw up. When they say the wrong thing or don't say the right thing. You do realize that this problem is the same one Rose had with Scorpius?"

"That's right!" James exclaimed. "He didn't say anything when Rose needed him to. They worked it out, I'm sure you can too."

"You just have to talk to him. Explain things from your point of view. Tell him what you should have before you did… _it_. Just think about it."

They left with two very strained smiles. Lily grabbed her pillow and hugged it to her chest. She felt like something had broken in her chest. Present Lily met up with future Lily and she cried and she finally dealt with the feelings she could no longer avoid.

* * *

><p>Lily managed to get herself together by dinner time, but just barely. This was all her brothers' fault anyway. She'd still be happily in denial if they hadn't made her think about the fact that the boy she loved had hurt her right after she gave him her virginity. Squished in the backseat of her parents' car between her brothers, Lily was dreading what was to come. While she had cried her eyes out for the first time over what had happened, she still didn't know how she wanted to do it.<p>

The pain had her running scared (not that she'd ever admit it). She was a Gryffindor; she wasn't supposed to be afraid of anything. Worst of all she knew that Lorcan could make her happy for her whole life and she wanted that. But how could she trust him not to hurt her like this again? It was like he could make her so happy she was terrified. She'd been more than willing to take that chance barely a week ago but now everything had changed. She'd made herself vulnerable to him and he'd betrayed her.

The car skidded to a halt outside the Burrow. Lily recognized the Scamander's car and felt her heart drop. She couldn't do this. Her parents got out and before he could move an inch Lily grabbed onto James' arm. He looked over at her with his eyebrows raised. "Don't leave me alone with him," she begged.

"How are you going to talk to him if I don't leave you alone with him?" he asked.

"I don't want to talk to him," Lily said. "I just- I can't- I'm not ready. Please."

"Oh, fine! This is what I get for being the good big brother, is it?" James muttered, climbing out of the car.

Lily hurried after him, linking their arms so he couldn't abandon her once they got inside. She hid by his side once they entered. It worked out until dinner was served out in the garden and Gran Molly yanked Lily down the table. She pushed her shaking granddaughter into the chair next to Lorcan. The meal passed with Lily very obviously not eating and Lorcan glancing at her every few seconds. The family tried to keep the conversation going. Asking Rose and Scorpius about married life, pestering Teddy and Victoire about having children and then pestering Rose and Scorpius about having children. But really they were waiting for something to happen between Lily and Lorcan.

"You ought to eat something," Lorcan whispered to her, hoping to keep the family from overhearing.

Lily's fork clattered against the plate at his voice. Her heart thudded in her chest and her hands began to shake. She couldn't do this right now. Not surrounded by her family not having just decided to deal with her feelings. Too much was unresolved. She was still too frightened, too unsure of what she wanted or more honestly of what she thought was best for herself. She knew she wanted to be with him, she knew she still loved him but she didn't know if she could trust him anymore. Or if she should trust him anymore.

He brought his hand up next to hers, she pulled away. "I just wanted to give you this," he said.

When his hand moved she saw he'd dropped the heart charm on the table. She knew she'd crushed it, but he must have used _Repairo_ to fix it. Lily looked at the tiny diamond heart, so easily repaired with a flick of his wand. If only he could put _her_ heart back together so easily.

Lily stood up. In her hast to get away she got tangled up in her chair. Lorcan stood more slowly and tried to help her. "Get off of me!" Lily yelled, pushing his hands away and doing her best to ignore the shocked looks of her family.

"Lily, please!"

"Please nothing, I don't want to talk to you!" she shouted.

Lily pushed him away and rushed off into the depths of the garden. She could hear the family going mental in the distance but didn't stop running until she was encompassed in darkness and was far enough away that no one would hear her crying. Sitting on her calves, with her arms to her sides while tears ran torrents down her cheeks. Three times now he'd made her cry. Which to Lily's thinking was three times too many. The first cry had been short and ridiculous. This cry appeared to be lasting all day. Worst of all once she started she had the hardest time stopping. It had taken her nearly an hour to get herself back under control before dinner. But then it hadn't been as bad as it was now. It had been her making her cry. This time it was him making her cry.

The pleading look on his face when she pulled away from him. The torture in his eyes and the knowledge that she could make that go away- for both of them. All she had to do was tell him she loved him.

"I love you, Lily!"

She looked over her shoulder. She couldn't see Lorcan, but she could hear him floundering his way through the darkness of the garden.

"I know I should have said it before!" he called out, sounding further away. "I should have said it right after… well you know." Closer now.

The tears stopped slowly as she listened.

"You might not want to talk to me, but damn it Lily I want to talk you. I want to tell you everything I didn't tell you a few days ago."

Lily felt the tears dried, sticky and tacky on her cheeks.

"When you came to my dorm, I didn't know what to do. I almost told you that I'd changed my mind. That I wanted to wait until graduation so we could be together longer. Maybe make you fall in love with me. Or-or treat you so well you'd want to stay with me forever."

He was closer now, Lily didn't even think of running as he drew nearer, too captivated by his words.

"So when we got to it. When we had sex it was… not great. Only because I'm an absolute tosser and I didn't tell you that I wanted you for longer than the next hour or so. We laid there and ever second you stayed next to me I was happy because it was another second I could be with you. And then you got up and got dressed and I thought for a second when you came to my side you were going to kiss me or something like that."

Lily closed her eyes and laid down on her side to listen to him.

"B-but you… being the oh so dramatic girl that you are… you… well you know…"

He was quiet, all Lily could hear were his foot falls as he moved through the garden trying to find her.

"I considered following you. Pulling my trousers on and running right after you. Make a big show of how much you mean to me, but when I got up and saw the diamonds all over the floor… it just… I had to fix it and I had to find your ring. I might have used magic to fix the necklace but I looked for the ring by hand. Dug through my friends' dirty clothes to find it. I haven't taken if off since."

He was behind her, closing in on her hiding spot.

"You gave it to me to tell me how you feel. I know how much you love that ring and I'd hoped when you gave it to me that was your way of telling me you love me. I had to find it. I had to know that I could find your love."

He was a few feet away. Lily clenched her fists.

"Lily!" he exclaimed, pulling her into his arms. "Lily, are you all right?" Lily sat up and threw her arms around his neck. "Why were you on your side?" he demanded. "Were you tried to give me a bloody heart attack?"

"No," she whispered against his neck. "I was listening."

"And?" he asked, tentatively.

"I was right about not talking to you." He stiffened. "I needed to listen to you. And to me." They sat in silence for a while. Lily with her arms wrapped around him, Lorcan holding her to his chest. Though they'd already made love Lily had never felt so close to him. Her mind made up she wiped the remaining tears from her face and looked at him.

"I figured it out over Winter Break," she said. "I love you too." She couldn't stop the tears dripping from the corners of her eyes but these were happy tears, relieved tears, hopeful tears.

"No more crying, love."

Lily pressed her mouth to his, gripping his hair. "Too long, too long," she repeated over and over again.

"Yes, yes," he said. "Never again."

His mouth latched onto her ear lobe and sucked. Lily moved, her legs straddling his. "Oh! I want my do over!" He kissed her again. "And my necklace."

Lorcan reached into his pocket, pulled out the necklace and his wand. He latched the charm around her neck. With a flick of his wand he Summoned a thick blanket and sent blue ball flames flickering on the grass around their makeshift bed. He laid her back on the soft blanket.

"This is amazing, Lorcan," Lily said. "But we can't do this here. Both our families are at the house. If anyone comes looking…"

"I told James I was going to sort this out with you and he promised to make sure the family gives us some space." She bit her lip. "We can stay mostly dressed, if that makes you more comfortable."

Lily laughed. "I think you know how comfortable I am without clothes on around you. I just don't want to get caught. That'll ruin our do over!"

"And it'll get me murdered by your brothers…" Lorcan thought out loud.

"I don't think so," Lily muttered. "Seeing as they already know."

"Damn it, Lily!" He sat up. "How did this happen?"

"They wanted to talk," she pleaded. "They wanted to bond and wouldn't leave until we'd connected. I said something like, 'if you really knew what happened you'd kill Lorcan,' and they said, 'we'd only do that if he shagged you and ditched you.' I may have grimaced and they connected the dots."

"You're right, they are going to kill me."

"No! You didn't shag and then ditch me! Did James look pissed when you asked him to keep the family away?"

"No he didn't. But he certainly didn't look happy."

Lily bit her lip and looked up at him. She loved him and she wanted to prove it with more than her words. "All right, how about this? Vanish my knickers, we'll be quick about it."

"Quick?" he sounded perturbed. "That's not much of a do over."

"Our second kiss was far shorter than our first, wasn't it? A do over doesn't have to be longer, it has to be better!" Lorcan snorted. "Well it does! And, by the way, you're not being very romantic."

"What's romantic about a quick shag on the ground?" he asked.

"A shag, is it?" Lily asked, pulling her knickers down her legs and pushing them into his pocket. "We'll not be making love?"

He smiled widely. "I think I can manage a quick love making."

Lily unbuckled his belt, unsnapped his trousers and pulled him from his boxers. She stroked him to attention, rubbing the bead of moisture around the head. He groaned. Lorcan settled her back against the blanket, laid over her in the cradle of her thighs. His length rubbed up and down her seam, the head bumping against her clit.

"Lorcan, please!" she cried out.

"If we're actually going to do this," he mumbled. "You're going to have to keep your voice down."

"Then maybe we should stop because that's really unlikely," Lily gasped, talking a mile a minute.

"Hmmm…" The tip of his manhood slipped into her opening. "Maybe I'll just kiss you."

"Yes, kiss. Kiss is good." His mouth sealed over hers, swallowing all her squeals and groans and moans of pleasure.

And sanity along with clarity of thought had gone out the window as soon as he began to slowly thrust in, pull out, thrust in farther, pull out… until he was in to the hilt.

Lily brought her knees up and wrapped them around his back. It brought his length in at a new angle. Lily gripped his shoulders, her nails digging into him through his shirt. Lorcan's hips pistoned in and out, moving at a quick but satisfying pace. He pushed the top of her dress out of the way and gripped her breast through the lace of her bra. He tugged at her nipple. Lily broke the kiss.

"Come back here, you can't make too much noise," his hips stop long enough for him to say it, but that was too long for Lily who was a good three or four strokes away from a pretty fantastic orgasm.

"Don't stop! You can't stop!" She brought her hips up to keep the friction going. He started moving again. Three well placed pumps of his hips later and Lily did her best to bite back a scream.

He continued thrusting as Lily lay recovering from her orgasm. The feeling of him rubbing inside of her while after she'd been so well satisfied was almost too intense for words. She wiggled and moaned beneath Lorcan as his hips moved faster and harder. She'd been working up to her first orgasm but her second shocked her to her core. In no position to cut off her scream, Lorcan kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with gusto. Two hours later (or so it felt) Lorcan pulled out and came on the blanket. Only to thrust back in a second before collapsing on top of her.

Lily rubbed her cheek against his. "Why?"

There was no need to explain. "I forgot the Contraception Charm. Best not to get you pregnant on our do over."

Lily laughed and hugged him as close as possible. He was still inside of her so he really was as close as it was possible to be. It wasn't until several kiss and laughter filled minutes later that he did pull out, flick his wand to clean them both and stand up. Lily attempted to follow suit and found that her legs were having trouble.

"Oh, dear," she mumbled. "Very good do over, Scamander. I can't walk. I'd say you've done your job."

He snorted and helped her to her feet. He extinguished the blue ball flames and folded the blanket over his arm. Lorcan wrapped his other arm around her waist, leading her back to the party.

"Do I get my knickers back?" she asked, noticing the cool breeze beneath her skirt.

He laughed, arrogantly. "Not on your life, Potter."

Lily pushed him away playfully, something that backfired as soon as she realized she actually couldn't walk on her own at the moment. Lorcan got back to her side soon enough to catch and kiss her.

"If it means that much to you, I'll give them back."

She pressed her lips against his and whispered, "If it means that much to you, keep them."

Once they were close enough Lily caught sight of the looks on her family's faces. Thrilled (Gran Molly), knowing (Ginny Potter), mildly disgusted with a touch of relief (James and Albus) and many others with the common thread of happiness.

Lily looked up at Lorcan and he down at her. It was so easy to ignore everything with this man by her side. This man who had, in under a year, transformed her from a commit-i-phobe into something completely different. So here she was, a totally different person, the kind of girl more than willing to settle down. But more particularly settle down with the man currently holding her knickers hostage. Because let's face it, if any man was the right man for Lily Luna Potter it was the kind of man who would steal her panties.

**The End**


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